I think we both had decided we would enjoy each other while it lasted and just ended up together. At some point, he did tell me that he could not marry me because I wanted to be married after Uni and he used to joke that his wife was somewhere doing some guy and I would tell him my man was a virgin and I was looking forward to teach him "stuff". He never found that amusing. He wanted a much younger wife, he told me, a Christian woman who would teach his children about Christ. (Needless to say our first son just got exposed to Christ and I caught him googling about Jesus that used to kill hypocrites). I thought he was a little too "local" (I still do) and I decided he was Mr. Wrong when he told me how he would open shop for me. I also wanted a Muslim man but was afraid that the man would detest me if I asked for anything but missionary in bed. I wanted to be faithful and people under estimate sexual compatibility. I needed a freak like me and I guess I found one. It wasn't love at first sight, I had always thought that I would end up with an outgoing guy, a muslim, a more ajebutta kind of guy. My man is none of the above. He is intelligent, a leader, and most of all, at this point, I find his presence and persona comforting. I on the other hand was a cynical teenager, I had accepted from about the age of twelve, I was not the type of girl that romances happened to. I was plain, tom boyish, and anti social. I was not interested in being a whore nor was I saving myself for marriage. I just did what felt right. TBH I was a more mature teenager than I am an adult. Now, I am so conformist I shock myself and my family. I guess marriage does that to you.
In case you are wondering, this is preamble to the good, the bad, and the ugly Part II. I just want to set the background. My cousin thought that I shouldn't marry him because our religious differences would be an issue. My Mom did not like his Moms' low key way of making it clear that I was not their first choice. My Dad would like anybody I liked. My sister and confidant felt that I was too hot tempered and him too traditional for it to work. Our wedding took place a year and a half after the introduction and I surprised both of us and those who knew me when we did not call it off before the D - day, though there were many times that I almost did. I don't mean threatening cos I am not a good bluffer. I move swiftly before the other person has a chance to wrap their mind around what I was doing. I have changed so much that I barely recognize myself sometimes. I thought that it was my imagination but his people did not want it to work. His mom and sisters totally ignored me, and his brother was something else. I waited for hubby to call them to order but he didn't. I actually decided that they could all go to hell and when I stopped trying, I either did not notice them as much, or they realized that they were barking up the wrong tree and I won't say that they changed, but we have some respectable distance between us. So here goes the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, ten years on.