Saturday, July 24, 2010

I doesn't know what to do.

I just tire, as usual. You know we all dream of going to america , struggling for a while and then living the good life but my reality has been far different from what i expected. I knew it was starting from scratch, that part went as planned, problem is 2.5 years later am still at scratch, I just don't know what to do again.

Was supposed to start a nursing career, except my Nigerian husband is all for the idea but just not interested in lending the reliability needed for that. And I have no relatives here who can help even a few hours a week, friends are either in the same boat or just too darn competitive its sickening and well, i put that on hold.

My current job is soo stressful, no time for me or the kids, I work 50h weeks 6 days a week, they keep finding a reason to reduce your pay (attendance- my pay was cut when i had my first baby because i was absent, and when i had to rush any of them to the ER; not selling, quality, etc they come up with something new each day) To top it off spend all day dealing with rude customers, rude collegues, and horrible conditions. Am so grateful i have a job, yet am so fed up with all the daily stress, am so tired I sometimes don't know how i get home or how i got to work.

I guess it was the pregnancy, my stressful job, unhappiness, and a lot of other factors, i decided to become a teacher, its not my dream job, but it would give me more money, more time, and more security. I squeezed out the hours, took the certification and licensing required and here i am today not a single offer. (School resumes August so, schools are staffed by this time, unless i keep praying for someone to get fired, die or something).

And yet when home people call, point of correction you call them or they flash you n you call back all they have to say is did you call lagbaja?

At this point I JUST TIRE and. . . .I doesn't know what to do.