Monday, August 10, 2009

The Resumption of Innocence

This is an amebo post and since this is a narration, words may be altered but the messages are real.

A friend of mine was recently married and while we made small talk (chatting online) she stops to ask me a question, "First time you and your hubby did it, did it hurt?"
I go "no why?" cos she knows it wasn't our "first time", me and her did share that much info in the past, albeit rarely.
And she goes, "hubby and i have not been able to do the deed for the past three days now because it hurts so much" I was, and still am confused.

Before I go on, let me give you some background, the lass is in her mid thirties as in 35, and we go way back. Once, over ten years ago, we had a heart to heart conversation when she confessed to doing it several times with the person supposed to be teaching her math (not a dirty old man but a guy a couple of years older than her). She only stopped when she got pregnant after which an abortion was arranged and since then, she has had a few relationships she says were not fully sexual (I never asked, she always volunteered that), even though they did everything else.

Back to the narration, without thinking, I go "Is he that huge?" and hit send before it occurs to me that she may not find that funny since she was confiding something serious. I cover up for my lack of sensitivity by giving her some suggestions, get on top, use some k-y jelly, etc. She tells me that was how he got halfway in three days.

I was baffled, I never knew the hymen grew back, but even after an abortion?...or maybe she just has vaginismus.

I think I only met one virgin in her mid-twenties she was 27 at the time and one morning she rushed to work to give us gist about how using tampons will break the hymen, I looked at her in disbelief at first; thinking to myself lost that a long time ago but I was graceful enough to not show my surprise that she thought that was breaking news. Even more hilarious was her wedding preparation, she chartered all those how to please your man in bed books and was reading them as if she had exams on the subject. She is too serious a person for me to ask if all the reading helped. She would have killed me with her eyes, lol. Anyway, I was impressed and it inspired me to go on a new round of celibacy.

As for me, losing my flower did not take three days, it just took a non verbal go ahead and the deed was done. I do not recall a renewed virginity after any of my celibacy periods either; (longest ones lasted 3 years, 1 year and some months, ten months and six months) but when I resumed, except that it was sweeter, I do not recall having to stop and try again the next day., talk less of the third day. But then, her husband does have long, slender fingers, maybe it could be a length issue then?


  1. LWKMD my goodness MOJ!!!!!

    But seriously some guy "confided" in me that he always had difficulty penetrating his babe, he was big quite alright(ok we were seeing each other at some point that's how i knew that part;) ...

    but I suspect it's a medical condition that was/is affecting that chick and this ur friend...

  2. I had a friend who was disvirgined before me…she told me blood shot out of her…you need to have seen how scared I was on the day when just a few drops came out…Went home and kept waiting for "the shooting blood"

    How have you been love???

  3. hymen growing back...but its possible..not for the hymen to grow back but for the and i have bn having sex for bout a year now...give or take once in 6 weeks, that one night we may have sex 2-3 times..and it still hurts especially d rubbish doggy, i still spot sometimes if it is intense

  4. Afro shooting blood ke????????? I can't believe my ears!!!

    Doll try KY jelly now? or is it because you're nervous on those days??????? pele oh

  5. Nice blog.....maybe your friend needs to see a gynecologist?

  6. LWKM Afro!!! You wont kill me, shooting blood indeed!! lol
    Im thinking your friend needs to relax during sex, maybe go see a Doc, she might have picked up an infection that is now making sex painful for her.
    vaginismus could also possibly be the problem.

    @ Doll im thinking you need some more lubicant during sex, intense or not, bleeding after sex isnt a good thing. A tube of KY jelly will save you plenty wahala in future.

  7. personally, if i haven't had sex in a long time, d first day resuming hurts. so extra extra care needs to be taken. i don't know if it's d hymen growing back oh. but, after a while, d pain stops. maybe her husband should use his fingers more b4 introducing his kini.

    LWKMD @ Afro. imagine blood shooting out! i didn't bleed oh on mine. so i was very confused if i'd been deflowered or not.

  8. she might have an infection.... or she is nervous.... definitely not renewed virginity! sorry!

    different strokes for different folks... but why do i think your friend was lying? shooting blood like how?

  9. She's probably just nervous. A new bride friend of mine is in the same boat after a month.

    Nice blog.

  10. first time here

    ok,i know you wrote this a long time ago but couldn't resist this comment..

    i know her type..that ur i'l just smile and say..hmmmmm

    nice blog,by the way..