Thursday, March 19, 2015

Mama Bear

A friend of mine asked me how I responded to people telling me one of my children looked better than the other. In my head I thot "Na that one dey worry you?". But out loud I said I tell them they are both fine. I mean, a few people have said that to me. First it was the younger son I was told was not fine but now its the younger one that is too fine. I personally cannot keep up. I don't care. Beauty lies in the heart of the beholder and they are both (all) beautiful to me.

My younger son is a late talker. He is five and has the conversational skill s of a two and a half year old. I would be more worried if he showed other issues, but he reads well, can answer comprehension questions and can make his needs known. He just lacks spontaneous speech and cannot narrate. He has speech therapy three times a week at school and once a week with a different therapist on weekends. I also harass him with conversations just to get him talking. That said, I adore my smiling boy who may not be able to tell me a story, but is so good at everything else that I choose to appreciate who he is. I do all the story telling and he does the add ons. What irritates me is when "friends" and acquaintances ask me why he isn't taking. "He will talk when he has something to say" I usually respond though I would like to ask why their own kids lacked manners, couldn't spell or why they are obese at such an early age.

I guess my message is be sensitive of the things you say to others. Nothing wrong with giving pointers, I joined a really helpful support group when someone told me they helped her son with the same problem. I have  had people suggest things versus those who just feel like running their mouths. Whether its beauty, weight, intelligence, or speech. The journey of being a mother is so much more than what our kids can and cannot do in the beginning. We can only do our best and hope that the rest of the world minds their own f**g business when they have nothing positive to contribute.

7 comments:

  1. belle30.4.15

    I just found your blog today, and was able to read it all in a few hours --- you barely post, so it was easy.. lol.
    I'm also a naija wife and mother (and also experienced an early loss- make that 3 for me) so I can relate to a lot of your posts. Hope to read more from you.

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    1. Thanks Belle for stopping by, what can I say, I am a lazy blogger. I don't even want to promise to do better anymore. Maybe if I just blog and not talk about it?

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  2. People always have an opinion and are very quick to share it. Good job on doing your part trying to help him talk more and yes when he has something to say he will talk. My husband was a late talker too and according to my MIL and his older sibling, he didn't utter even a word till at least 4 years old. They thought he will be mute. But now, the way he talks, it was like he came out of his mom's womb rapping. It is well with your boy.

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  3. People always have an opinion and are very quick to share it. Good job on doing your part trying to help him talk more and yes when he has something to say he will talk. My husband was a late talker too and according to my MIL and his older sibling, he didn't utter even a word till at least 4 years old. They thought he will be mute. But now, the way he talks, it was like he came out of his mom's womb rapping. It is well with your boy.

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  4. Thanks Okeoghene. Beleive me, I know better than that. My mum raised six kids and the earliest to speak was talking quite clearly at one year old and the later to speak was barely speaking at four. The later speaker is an engineer today, graduated with honors and working on her masters. The race is not to the swift. If only people could mind their own business, because frankly, it's not like they care one way or another.

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  5. This is some food for thought! I better watch my comments and sensitivity to people around me !!!

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    1. I learnt that from the"when is your wedding/introduction days" May God guide us.

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