Sunday, May 7, 2017

Who asked you?

I just finished reading "Who asked you?" by Terri McMillian. After reading "A day late and a Dollar short, she became one of my favorite authors. I probably read her books once a year now because the problem with reading the same person back to back for me is that the stories tend to sound the same and I start to get bored.

In Who asked you? the protagonist found out that one of her former boyfriends had passed away and decided to go find all of her past loves to make sure that they were doing okay. She describes her relationship with each guy and why they ended it. She had a lot to talk about since she had been married three times and had twice as many significant relationships. I thought I'd do the same and put it up as a blog post... and thanks to facebook, I found most of them. I have two on BBM (though we do not talk) and one on whatsapp. The exercise was enlightening as I had to include even the people I had never dated. I realized that I have so far led a very boring and unadventurous life. I honestly have had sex with only 3 men in my life. What a shame. Seriously. I can boast of cuddling probably six without it going any further. I wondered why I was always that "friend" that they would shamelessly beg to hook up with her other friend. I swear, I never saw it. Besides, in my neighborhood, we had many tragic AIDs deaths of the popular neighborhood people. It sufficiently scared me into adulthood.

I won't bother sharing all of my past loves because I bored even myself thinking about them. I looked them up though and had one idiot think that I was toasting him when I buzzed him on facebook. He was my first real, formal proposal. We met randomly and I decided early on that he was not my type. Frankly, I wanted an adventurous lover and he was very Ustaz (Islamic scholar type) and I did not want anyone making me feel guilty when I decided to release all of my pent up sexuality. He asked me who I was, later on, "how can i help you?", "I am a married man", I have blocked and deleted him on facebook now. I didn't want him then, I don't know why he thinks I want him now.

 Another serious contender, I'd heard through the grapevine (we were family friends) that his wife abandoned him but he is there forming happy family man and trying to tell me what I was missing. I felt sorry for him sha. When we met back in 2004, he thought that since I had graduated and served and there was no husband around it meant that I was desperate. He started acting like an asshole and telling me how I should be behaving like "wife material". Once we had been talking and laughing and he decided to "spark" and walk out on me. I educated him on how disrespectful that was (he was probably trying to see what I would do when provoked?) the second time he tried to spark over something insignificant, I walked him out and told him never to come back. He thought I was kidding and when he realized that I was done, he started spending time with my family so that they would help him "beg" me. All that drama and we were not even dating (as in he had not stated his intentions). I probably am boring because I do not do drama.

I was still done and he eventually moved on. He married some sickler girl and we started talking again after my parents invited his parents to my wedding and he called to congratulate me. I heard through the grapevine (my sister) that he had been kicked out by the girls' family. I guess he was thinking that I didn't know. I am not gloating because it's rather sad.

On that note, what is wrong with our generation? Ten years ago everybody was wedding and now it seems one in every five couples is calling it quits. It is well.

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