Sunday, May 25, 2008

Am still here!

Been a while, I started a new job and six weeks into it, I'm still trying to adjust. I spent week one getting used to the new schedule and the classlike atmosphere of the training. Being the third oldest in the classroom, I try to act a bit brilliant but I must confess that I'm still working on that. Anyway week one was exhausting and full of jacking.

Week two, I notice even people I didn't know knew me(as in HR and management). Turns out some of my info was wrong and everyone was looking at me wondering how I'd fix it. Well, finally got that fixed and last week was just plain exhausting, getting to know the other trainees. Interesting, wacked, and sometimes clearly crazy people, I might say but, new environment, new gist.

Then came the actual work period and I wanted to quit. I am beginning to get the hang of it sha, getting used to the job, the people, and the company. Maybe I'll even hang some pictures in my cubicle today.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My marriage uncensored; the good, the bad, and the ugly

I have always told myself that I would not be one of those women who get married and then the only gist that comes from them is, my husband said this, did that; boring everyone around that has to listen politely. But for the lack of more "bloggable" stuff, sit back and read politely while I bore you with my marriage.

The good . . .

1) Its nice not having to pack my bags and go home after playing house. I always did that cos I didn't want to be one of those women who live in delusion (even after the intro), if the guy wants me around all the time then he better marry me. Another reason is cos I had actually just discovered some crazy friends who really made life more exciting in a different kind of way.
2) Some of the time, I am so glad I married DH and really can't picture myself with anyone else, he's just my other half.
3) Just knowing i don't have to search anymore, I was really losing my patience with men. The next guy always seemed worse than the former and I met some really wacked dudes.
4) The fact that sleeping with him is no longer an issue. I have various classes of acquaintances and do my best to get along with each. For those who value virtue (even if it was only in their dreams) I adopt the "sex before marriage, me? NEVAH!" stance and for those who were real, we swapped advice. If you're not telling then, I ain't telling and people who hide their sex live have nothing interesting to say anyway. Believe me, its not hypocrisy or dishonesty, its pure wisdom.
5) People just seem to love seeing young couples together. Whenever we go out together whether in jeans or lace, people always seem happy to see us together "looking like they did years ago"
6) Having someone to snuggle up to at night. I hate sleeping alone. I mean, if something was going to swoop in on me, I'd like to know there was someone to scream with. And on the other hand, if the "thing" only took one of us, there'd be someone left behind to tell the tale.
7) Having someone to harass when I feel like it. Gets boring sometimes because beau ignores it most of the time. But every now and then, I still get some reaction.
8) Getting my Mom off my back the woman had been pestering me about marriage for like four and a half years before it happened (it was hell and I am still suffering emotionally from that. I need to blog about that sometime)
9) He doesn't mind that I'm gaining one kind of nonsense weight.

The bad . . .

1) He is so annoying sometimes, always arguing about things that don't make a difference like who I buy groceries from.
2) I am not very wifely. I try to be, but its just not me. I know people who concoct all sorts of dishes, stock up on enticing lingerie, and keep the house sparkling. Not to mention calling the mother-in-law several times a week, and trying to blend with the sisters -in-law's, etc. Me, I am ashamed to say we cook about five dishes: eba, rice, spaghetti, indo mie and beans. It doesn't help matters that I am a very picky eater. I still wear the same underwear I wore before the wedding, the in-laws? I am not into "para po" and after what I've observed, am just very weary and have adopted the good fences build good neighbors policy. I am also not very domestic and am not ashamed to say that I clean the house twice a week and am not bothered. My guy is a grown man and should clean up after himself.
3) Gone are the days when I could go for a catching up session with my best friend because he's a guy. He's been awkward since I got married anyways and he's the one guy DH is suspicious of. In fact, all my single female friends are avoiding me and I had to start avoiding my male ones, the rest of whom I was not really close to anyway. There was nothing harder than having to give up (and be given up by) friends who I had taken years to make. Now there are no more sleep overs, no more drunken nights, no more woe is me gists. I have to learn to keep my mouth shut and say only good things about my hubby and marriage (long live blogville).
4) When ever we argue, (yes, its been little over six months and we have had some very nasty arguments) I cant walk away for weeks and cool off with my friends. And believe me, I've learned to fight like a man: I've stopped saying sorry when its not my fault (and sometimes even when it is) and learned not to be the one to break the silence.
5)I don't care much for my in laws except for my Mother in law. She's a darling, but then I've never lived with her. And do not want to lest I begin to see her funny side as well.
6) All that gist about test driving before you buy? Really doesn't follow. We are often not in the mood at the same time anymore and I really dont know. Maybe there's another woman?
7) Seriously about the other woman, marriage makes you paranoid. Where once I'd never bothered. If I caught him with someone else or had sufficient evidence that there was someone else, I'd have picked one of my toasters readily even if it was just to have a fling. Now, I know I have to leave if that happens and I am scared shitless that I wont have the courage to do so.
8) More paranoia; the man comes home late, he must be seeing someone, he doesn't feel like sex, its someone else; he begins to worry about his appearance, you guessed right. See what marriage has done to me.

The downright ugly. . .

1) We argue about money all the time. He seems to think he has the right to tell me how to spend my money, and I ain't no slave, going out to work for my "master", thats where I draw the line. Before the wedding and some months after I selflessly did give him all of my earnings but I have long still realized that his loyalties are with his family and I have got to take care of me. . . and my unborn kids and my own family; after all I have one too.
2) He is a slob and seems to be getting lazier by the minute. I do not indulge him though. Sometimes I let him get his food himself just so he doesn't expect me to jump all the time. I also let him do his own laundry, cleaned his own wardrobe, and wash his dishes. If I do it all for him, he'll soon be asking me to follow him to the loo with a fan while he takes a crap, abegi the days of Ruth are long past.
3) Did I mention the sibling-in-laws?
4) Hubby has taken to contented snoring (whatever that is) he snores so loudly that he can be heard in the next flat. I think its nasty.
5) He never asks for directions. We just get lost and go home. I have given up trying to ask for directions for him because he just gets angry with me and I get angry with him then we argue and still end up going home.
6) He has this nasty habit of hanging things on doors; his towel, clothes he's worn which are "not dirty" unless its time to wash, the clothes he's planning to wear,it really drives me up the wall.

Really, wouldn't it have been more fun if we could just co habit and remain dating happily ever after?