Saying I'm Sorry

I used to be a self help book junkie. I read every book I could find on money, relationships, marriage, sex, love, babies, pregnancy, etc, so tay suppose don write my own book now.

Hubby annoyed me yesterday and characteristically, I let him have it. Not going into what he did but will only say, its something I have been gently trying to curb as advised by all the self help gurus. The man just no wan change and I went crazy. It could be my hormones, I know being preggers makes everything seem much more serious that it really is. After I erupted, trust the guy he sits quietly and then I start feeling like I was over reacting. I decide to apologize when we get into bed. Was going to snuggle up, give him a hug and tell him I was sorry and in a calmer manner repeat what he was doing that he should not be doing :).

Na so I enter bed, my small oga was being fussy so I let him sleep with us. My mouth was too heavy and instead, we all drift off to sleep. I woke up at night and madam, wake your husband up and tell him sorry and sit him down for some midnight "oro pataki", I lie there contemplating how to begin and fall asleep again still trying to decide on the best approach.

Of course typical guy fashion today hubby wakes and we talk like nothing happened. He knows I'm sorry anyway and he knows it was his fault too so, I decide to let it go as well but I know I need to reclaim my apologizing skills. Will do after our next fight.

`

Birth of new life

Yesterday, I got to watch my first live birth and it was awesome. Sure I've seen enough on you-tube but it was nothing like the real thing. How can anyone see that up close and then deny that there is a God? The birth made me realise the following;

a) God is wonderful. He must be to make it possible for that child to breath in water. Her water was broken at about 5 a.m. (it was an induction) and the baby somehow was still breathing until it was pushed out @ 1.22 p.m;

b) Women are heavy duty machines. I have seen my own father, brothers and especially husband catch catarrh and turn into blubbering, irritating babies (may God forgive me for feeling that way) but seriously, I hate seeing sick men they get on my last nerve. This woman pushed out a whole person and was smiling afterwards. She had an epidural by then but what about the six hours of labor before she got the medication? But still, first hand, the birthing process is very painful.

c) I wonder why some people wait to see a mountain move before they can accept the miracles and favors of God Almighty. (First time I bought newborn clothes hubby actually thought no baby could fit something that small and you actually do forget how small a newborn is). Most fascinating thing about them (newborns) is they have 206 bones squeezed into that little body, a functioning brain and meeeen that head of theirs that mouds itself to pass through the birth canal? Awsome! God is wonderful. Even if I never see a mountain move, I am a Believer.

d) How does a baby make its way out such a small hole?

e) Even though the birth was amazing, seriously its a more spiritual experience to watch, I think it might be a good idea to bar husbands, boyfriends, and significant others from watching. Am just glad am a woman cos I would not go near another va jay jay if I were. The emerging baby is not a pretty sight and you need to see what it does to the anus.

f) God I thank you for making me a woman.

The Resumption of Innocence

This is an amebo post and since this is a narration, words may be altered but the messages are real.

A friend of mine was recently married and while we made small talk (chatting online) she stops to ask me a question, "First time you and your hubby did it, did it hurt?"
I go "no why?" cos she knows it wasn't our "first time", me and her did share that much info in the past, albeit rarely.
And she goes, "hubby and i have not been able to do the deed for the past three days now because it hurts so much" I was, and still am confused.

Before I go on, let me give you some background, the lass is in her mid thirties as in 35, and we go way back. Once, over ten years ago, we had a heart to heart conversation when she confessed to doing it several times with the person supposed to be teaching her math (not a dirty old man but a guy a couple of years older than her). She only stopped when she got pregnant after which an abortion was arranged and since then, she has had a few relationships she says were not fully sexual (I never asked, she always volunteered that), even though they did everything else.

Back to the narration, without thinking, I go "Is he that huge?" and hit send before it occurs to me that she may not find that funny since she was confiding something serious. I cover up for my lack of sensitivity by giving her some suggestions, get on top, use some k-y jelly, etc. She tells me that was how he got halfway in three days.

I was baffled, I never knew the hymen grew back, but even after an abortion?...or maybe she just has vaginismus.

I think I only met one virgin in her mid-twenties she was 27 at the time and one morning she rushed to work to give us gist about how using tampons will break the hymen, I looked at her in disbelief at first; thinking to myself lost that a long time ago but I was graceful enough to not show my surprise that she thought that was breaking news. Even more hilarious was her wedding preparation, she chartered all those how to please your man in bed books and was reading them as if she had exams on the subject. She is too serious a person for me to ask if all the reading helped. She would have killed me with her eyes, lol. Anyway, I was impressed and it inspired me to go on a new round of celibacy.

As for me, losing my flower did not take three days, it just took a non verbal go ahead and the deed was done. I do not recall a renewed virginity after any of my celibacy periods either; (longest ones lasted 3 years, 1 year and some months, ten months and six months) but when I resumed, except that it was sweeter, I do not recall having to stop and try again the next day., talk less of the third day. But then, her husband does have long, slender fingers, maybe it could be a length issue then?

Birthday

I think at the next bloggers awards, there should be a laziest blogger category, that way I'm sure I'll get a nomination at least even if I don't win lol.

Finally finished my class, was supposed to take a history and a sociology course for the rest of the summer but changed my mind. Just realized am not as young as I used to be and with all the other everyday hassles, I am barely managing to get by on a day to day basis.

Yes oh, my cherub was a year old this Saturday. Am not into parties but in an effort to make sure my child has enough photos as mementos of the big day, I decided to have a get together at home for friends and family and have a real kiddy party at his daycare. Hard part is I havent a clue what people here do at 1st parties, I have asked around, and one alakoba (sorry, no english translation that would do that justice) suggested a pool party. Emi ke?!? I no want trouble, even if the said pool was a bucket of water, I no fit. When he's five maybe but as a toddler? No way.

Everything is ready except the balloons. Will get those tomorrow.

Thankful Saturday my "M" list.

Here goes. . .

I have completed my Mid Terms, in my usual trouble finding manner I decided to take a crash course online. I took the online version out of convenience and registered the day after the class started. Its a five week course, spent week one looking for the recommended text. After driving all over, my only option was to order online and it was too late so I got an online version, downloaded it and my PC chose that day to crash. To cut a very long story short, I had to connect on the laptop, crash 6 chapters in three days, study for a mid term test and complete a very difficult (and rather stupid) essay. I did it all with an hour and a half to spare and for that I am truely grateful.

Motherhood, my cherub has two teeth, is crawling army style, putting on healthy weight and sleeping through the night. Pregnancy is exhausting and uncomfortable and having a newborn is twice the exhaustion but nothing can compare to your baby waking you up in the morning and smiling down at you just because you opened your eyes. I love my baby.

Money even thoiugh I am short of it right now, I love money and all the good things that can be obtained with it. And I am saying thank you in advance cos, Insha Allah my pockets will be full of cash soon (even though I haven't a clue where from).

Movement am at that counting movements stage and that's the only way I can reassure myself that everything is ok.

Mojisola because I am a good person. lol.


WHew that was not as hard as it seemed. . .

All about rings

Went to a wedding last Saturday. Hubby and I left together, naturally we got lost. He refused to ask for directions and I had to ask for him (so it can be his genius if we find the place and my fault if we don't?) and naturally we argued all the way

Me: You shouldn't have turned left

Him: Shebi I told you to ask for directions

Me:Thats why I told you to ask yourself

Him: But you said keep going down Westheimer

Me: Its really not too late we can park so you can ask them yourself

And we manged to argue back and forth until, I got tired and did not feel like going anymore and he claimed to be tired as well; we agreed to go home. I called my aunt who had invited us so she would not wait anymore and then hubby decides we just have to find the place (I know if I had insisted on going we would've been home in a heartbeat); we head back, find the place and ended up having a very nice time.

Two of my siblings are wedding this year, one friend has tied the knot and the other, well lets hope they make it down the isle before they break up. It all got me thinking about my ring and its multiple personality.

The Badge.
A ring could be a badge, a symbol that you are a member of the prestigious married womens' club. It means people should not disrespect you in public, you cannot indulge in playfulness or mischief like you used to and any man beside you has to be your husband, his relative or his friend. Every statement is to be punctuated by don't you know that I am a married woman, or my husband this and my husband that. I think the most interesting part of this is most women suddenly become holy at this point. I wanted to but somehow it just didn't happen, I mean my biggest sin used to be fornication (so I thought, but thats another story) and now its a sin if I refuse, so that in itself makes me feel holier :).

The Certificate.
Implies you can carry belle, sleep over, people can come and visit and meet you half dressed. Nothing to be ashamed of, after all you have a ring to brandish and so its a certificate to indulge in all the stuff you may have been doing anyways but now don't need to lie about or hide. This is especially useful when you lock yourselves in the house and take a few minutes longer than necesary to answer the door.

A Deterrent.
I recall the good old days when guys expressed likeness by hanging around you and trying to impress you. (When you get to your mid twenties, they begin to propose marriage even before asking you out or tell you how you embody everything that they've been searching for in a wife, or my personal favorite, how they just want to settle down now now now if they find the right person-and that's your cue to begin auditioning). Have come across two or three people who I just noticed hanging around (@ different times), being nice, trying to impress (like in the good old days) and suddenly it hits me that they may be trying to "get to know me" and then I go searching for my rings (I am not a ring person and besides when i was ring shopping they told me to get a loose one so I could grow into it-haven't grown into it yet, so i take it off so it doesn't get lost) and any hoo, I go find them so the dude realises its too late. I don't care wonderful you are or seem to be, if you were meant to be mine, you should have found me first. The guys bow gracefully away and tell me how lucky my man is, and I'd love to give them his number so they can tell him, but hubby already thinks I'm a psycho, no need to add fuel to his suspiscions. And anyways, as long as its not Babyface Edmunds, I'm sticking with my man.

A Reminder.
Marriage is hard, very very hard. I take that back its not hard, its just a lot of patience, forgiveness, manipulation and diplomacy. On the hard days you keep that ring on your finger to remind you of the never ending circle that your love is supposed to be. You wear that ring willing it to do its magic so you don't go screaming into the hills like a mad woman or more likely just go back home and curl up in the bed you slept on so many years ago dreaming about your fairytale job, marriage, kids and life; lord knows it was nothing like this. If wishes were horses beggars would ride. . .can't go home, this is your home now. During the trying times you grudgingly make his meals; respond to his questions with tight lipped comments (am still working on the malice thingy) he realises he majorly pissed you off and tries to make small talk, tries desperately to make you laugh; wants to make love. And in time the never ending circle does its thing and you realise that you would never trade the man beside you, with his rusty amour, feet of clay and annoying ways, for the man in your dreams of yesterday.

A week in my life.

Cooked beans today. Hubby loved the last one so much, I feel like cooking it everyday now. Seriously, he started by overfeeding - not unusual, he does that whenever he is very hungry or he really likes the food. Next, he was composing ballads and poetry about it (just kidding, though am sure he would have if he were the ballad and poetry composing type).

My first thought was "he's having an affair" unfortunately, i cannot help the way I think. I mean, every body is happy after getting laid, but we hadn't done it enough times to justify that much praise over a pot of beans, a week later he was still praising it! Besides, I just dumped everything in the pot and it even burnt small sef. Well, he took the last of it to work this morning (began cooking in bulk when baby came, I find that it is verry convenient) amidst more adulation and accolades so, I need to cook some more; heck, we may begin to cook beans everyday from now on.

Baby was sick again. Fever crankiness, loss of appetite. I had to call my mom to ask what I was doing wrong. She said he might be teething; I tell her he did that three weeks ago, infact the second one is crowning. I didn't know they fell ill with each tooth. went to check on him during my lunch break feeling I should have called in and not gone to work. The boy was happily swinging his legs enthusiastically eating some kind of spanish rice and noodle soup. The boy did not even cry when I left, but that told me he was alright. He's fine now, again and at least I know what to expect when the top ones start coming in.

I don't know how to say this, but if I was a boy, I'd be an ass man. I have this colleague with this very cute ass and I like watching it move. I just realised I've been staring at her a bit too much when she caught me looking for the second time in one day and now I have to make a conscious effort not to look and its been sooo hard. Don't get me wrong, I am not gay. Personally I am not homo phobic or homo curious. am not interested in boobs, it would be akward trying to make love to a woman and feel her breasts, beside, part of the turn on in sex is feeling his member grow, you wont get that with a woman and how about the ridges and contuours? and seriously a dildo would not trmble and pulse or shoot anything warm, no I am not gay.I just admire her ass the way people admire a pretty face.

:) how was your week?

Thankful Saturday

I am borrowing a leaf from Aloted, making a list of things I am grateful for. I am not in the habit of counting my blessings cos, i am afraid of jinxing them. But that's superstitious isn't it? And besides, I do believe in destiny and so, que sera sera, whatever will be will be. Will aim for three, seven, ten or eleven things to love about today; here goes. . .

1) My Angel on earth is over his illness. Was teething cos soon as he started getting better, the crown of the tooth appeared. Will post a picture as soon as I can get him to smile at the camera instead of giving his 'camera stare'. I don't have to force him to eat anymore, he's been sleeping 6 hours through; if I could just get him to start crawling. . .

2) Hubby I guess, he take the baby and feeds and plays with him in the morning so i can get a few more hours of sleep, gets up @ night when i have to get up to soothe the pikin. Does a few things around the house without being nagged to do them. He is not a woman beater (and I would have mentioned that I do not have to worry about other women, but I trust no man not even my own father, so I'll leave it at that).

3) Found a new daycare, so I have left the other miserable woman alone. The new one is hispanic and does not speak much english. So far so good she has other kids with her and she is a like real mommy to them all as in, they flock around her and do not fear her which is a quality the other two did not have. Only time will tell sha, but as of today I am glad to leave my baby with someone who seems to genuinely adore kids.

4) Am off on Saturdays.

5)I have exceeded my sales target at work, big deal because in the year that I've been here; my sales are usually about halfway to target. I am a terrible sales person and used to talk myself out of sales; as in, after making an offer, I tell the customer both advantages and disadvantages of the service (cos i wish everyone else would do that for me too). Now, I keep my big mouth shut. If they figure it out, good, if they don't I get my sale. I mean, I need my job and besides, all i'm asking is that they keep whatever they buy for a month so I get my commission.

Birthday Wishes

Technically, I am beginning my 30th year but am really 29. Why do we celebrate the last year instead of the new one(?) cos if you look at it; your first birthday is really the first day of your second year on earth. So each birthday should be the first day of the next year in you life but age-wise, we are last years age. . .

For the first time in the ten years I've know him (yes, I have known him for ten years; tale for another day) hubby was the first person to wish me a happy birthday. I'd just got home the day before, was eating dinner (had resumed midnight dinner for several reasons; I've been stressed out lately, am unable to eat breakfast cos it makes me slow for the rest of the day; the overnight hunger was interfering with my sleep and making me cranky and because I wasn't losing any weight from the starvation, so I might as well. . .) and watching "friends with hubby. It was the episode where Ross' lesbian ex-wife was having Ben; the scene reminded us of my delivery and i suddenly realised that when i gave birth i did remeber pusing out the head but dont remember the shoulders being pushed out hubby then tells me they pulled him out by the head and we went on about details. When the baby comes out on the sitcom and he says happy birthday; I thought he was talking about the show. Then it hits me; it was midnight and my birthday. . .sweet.

My first birthday after meeting hubby, we were at school, our school was one of those where guys were not allowed into female hostels so, I was outside hanging out with my cousins and their friends; we were all broke (my cousins and I), so we decided to gist and tell stories, share jokes (or vice versa). Hubby - then just a guy who refused to get lost - sat somewhere in the shadows with his friends, waiting for the crowd to leave; he over heard the birthday chorus or something, and sneaked away to get me a gift. Spent a few hours outside with him and it was no biggie. . .

My twentieth birthday was a blur, we saw the day before and the day after, I was too depressed to care anyways. By then we were dating and all. . .and o n the verge of our first break up.

Twenty one was a good year, we were taking a break from each other (again) he did remember a week later. no qualms cos, I thot to myself, I was waiting for my knight and the knight obviously was not him. . .

Twenty two, he called late at night, we were back together again. He called me at ten PM (landline not cell phone; my Dad was the only one at home with that nokia 3330 that cost him over 30k, MTN line was 27k or so); anyway hubby calls me telling me he almost forgot; naturally, I blasted him.

Twenty three, nothing not even an e-mail. We had spent a week together in Akure two weeks before, had to blast him again and promised to forget his birthday from then on. . .

Twenty four, we had a pregnancy scare; just did my first medical test for my first job and felt so stupid for probably losing the job because i could have been pregnant. I was too upset to do anything or even care if he remembered. All he had to say was lets do introduction. There was no baby, I got the job and we forgot about the intro (he was a corper).

Twenty five I got a surprise party at work. You know when suddenly you notice everyone is scarce and someone "has something important" to tell you. The person leads you to a room and everybody starts singing Happy Birthday and its a party. It was one of my best birthdays ever! Hubby called in the evening, had to take his mom somewhere (and phones don't work in cars). Blasted him yet again. Much more annoying was that he didn't care if i forgot his.

In 06 he calls me first thing in the morning like he used to every regular day; we gist small and he hangs up; I coolly let him forget at that time, it didn't matter. I guess he pulled up his PC minutes later and realizes; calls me back and we had a good laugh over it. . .

27 we were together; he called from work because that was when he remembered.

28 was an okay age to be, I learnt that I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in terms of self development; lost all my friends, made no new ones; the first time really that i haven"t asked myself if i was happy with who i was today, the first day of this new year of me. So far so good, though.

Other peoples' kids

Today I noticed my sweet little angel sitting pretty; finally. He will be eight months old in a week. I saw this seven month old with teeth at a store a couple of months ago, the boy was sitting upright, sporting four teeth and obviously crawling or about to. My aunts' baby was standing at 7 months; my cousins' baby was crawling and cruising furniture by 8 months; all around me I saw babies doing things way faster than mine and I almost let myself fall into the "there's something wrong with my child" trap. Don't get me wrong, I see babies way slower than him but to be the best you've got to compete with the best.

We all know that everyone is an individual, in fact I should know that better than anyone else. I didn't walk until I was a year and ten months old, I sucked my fingers, didn't "cry" (my Mom said she had to deliberately starve me every now and then just so she could convince herself I was OK, lol). I was considered "slow" until my Mom said they realized I could read words without pictures when I was four. Even then, I started growing boobs at 9 (mom was scared again, too early) when girls my age caught up, they began dressing up and wearing make-up. I didn't. It went on and on, I just wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing when I was supposed to, and did I mention my Mom thought I was going to be an old maid?

I wish I could claim emotional trauma from all the comparisons I suffered and to be truthful; I did feel there was (and is, maybe?) something wrong with me but as I have realised everyone has their self doubt and the greater the genius the greater the doubt so I don't sweat it. I admit that being compared to others and always or mostly falling short is very challenging. So why was I trying to inflict this negative energy on my little prince? I think its because, like the majority of parents before me, I have/had set milestones for my baby. . .

He was to be sitting by 5 months, crawling at 6 months, off the breast at 6 months (here we are breastfeeding 7 months and counting), standing at 9 months, off the feeding bottle at 1, toilet trained at 2 and saying the alphabet and counting to twenty by 2.

But here I am applauding his being able to sit down without support (and he claps too) at 7 months and four weeks, but even though I think we (me and him) have a pretty fair chance of meeting the other milestones, I will honor his process and just let him do things at his own pace (like I have that much of a say in the matter).

This is fast becoming a mommy blog.

PS:- Not beef but my aunts' child who was standing @ 7 months is a year old next month and he's still not walking but she's not losing sleep about it. Don't know what came over me.

I love my mom to pieces, I obviously inherited her paranoia.

The Nighmare called baby sitters

Am riding the crest of a nightmare baby sitter who, truth be told I should have changed a long time ago. This is my second nightmare in the six months I've had to deal with them. Am seriously considering sending Bobo to naija to live until he is three years old cos, this place is not baby friendly at all.

Started with one akata woman who began well, her place was close-by and she seemed to love kids. All of a sudden, she began complaining all the time; that was our queue to move on but of course, being too busy to look and too stubborn to change we managed her until she decided to not take care of my kid because she felt me and my husband were not communicating, among other things. She claimed she told hubby lots of stuff about me and baby and as a result of our lack of communication, none of the messages were passed across. Last straw was when she said she told him to get someone else and I was livid with rage; sharply went to snatch my baby ; missed two days of work and made new arrangements. Turned out she didn't tell him anything and besides since she and her own husband communicate so well she should have left the messages with him instead.

Well, moved on to Yoruba woman who has turned out to be an even bigger nightmare. To cut a long and needless story short, I have been accused of everything from trying to know her immigration status to insulting her verbally and funniest of them all; I also want to steal her clothes. Well, the other mothers were accused of never paying their bill, not giving their kids anything to eat; eating her food; and we are all bad mothers for a myriad of other reasons. Am shopping for another minder o. My child is the only one left there anyways. I think I have had enough. And to think that this woman has been in yankee for over five years. You can take the woman out of the bush but that bush will remain in the woman sha.

Hubby has been so strong for us this time. The first one had me questioning if we could last another year. He felt it was my fault and we should have begged the akata. I told him the day he labours for his own child we can go and beg her. I was mad at him for days, and I have never hated him as much before nor since. This one was a bit more ridiculous and hubby was actually consoling me like a Daddy does and I almost started crying on the phone. . .that was until I tell him I locked my keys in my car and the he starts screaming as if it was so much of a big deal, I don't know why the man is so inconsistent. I mean its my keys and my car and he just went on and on and on. . .so what if it was the third time in six weeks? I've been stressed out lately. He was a doll and called the locksmith and waited with him.

On a lighter note, I finally had the courage to get contact lenses. I almost chickened out until hubby told me he didn't think I could do it. of course, then I decide I have to. The doc wears contacts himself and shows me how to put them in by taking his out and putting them back in twice in 10 seconds. He hands me my first pair and tells me to put them in. After about 30 minutes, I have one in and have dropped the other one and cannot find it. Doc has seen two other patients. The man get patience no be small. didn't even bill me for the one I lost. He just quietly replaced it for me. Am sure him and his receptionist were wondering how anyone can take 30 minutes to get one lense in but they were nice enough to keep quiet.

Day two, I got both lenses in about 30 minutes, not my fault my eyes just used to close involuntarily. After work that day, I was so tired I rubbed my eyes as I usually do, next thing I know, I cant see out of one eye. Yeepa! I though to myself, How do I explain to the Doc that I lost another one? Fortunately, it was attached to my eye lashes. since i was on my way home anyway, I pull the other one out and wear my glasses puting both lenses in he glass case. By the time I got home they were shrivelled, when I told hubby he did his he he he laugh that he does when he wants to gloat while he should be comforting you. I put them in the water and have been managing them like that since then.

So far so good, I've worn them a month and counting and am enjoying the lightness and being able to see like a regular person.

Sex on the mind.

The year is going by so fast, am over the homesickness, was just really stressed out and that was cured with the sound sleep I got from the two days hubby moved to the other room. He arrived back on the third day and when i was woken up by snores after merely two hours sleep, I bundled my angel on earth into the guest room for some peace and quiet. Hubby wasn't happy that we had to manage the small bed and so our current arrangement is, I wake him up when he gets too loud so he sleeps on the smaller bed; and at least he has stopped throwing his head back when sleeping which has reduced the snoring considerably.

Speaking of which, is it just me or do you find yourself wondering where or when people first think about sex? I have know there was something people did called sex for as long as I can remember. I may have been off on details at first, but I vaguely knew what it was and I always wondered where the thought came from.

It finally occurred to me one night doing hubby, I glance beside him at the little one . He was wide awake and when our eyes meet, he gives me this huge beautiful grin. Of course I decided to always put him in his bed every night -which by the way I did not do because its hard getting up to nurse when you're tired, but good parents that we are, we don't do anything with him on the bed anymore - but realized then where some people got their thoughts from, I guess I slept on my parents' bed till I was 2. Tell me I didn't witness something in those two years.

Why am I even talking about this sef?

Homesickness

Today, I confess to being tired, very tired. Got up early this morning thinking to myself how much I didn't want to go to work, or stay at home for that matter. All I really felt like doing was turning back the hands of the clock so I could go home. I mean home to my mom, dad and siblings. . .

I was tired of being a wife; the hardest part of which is dealing with a grown man I often feel like giving a big kick in the ass. Don't get me wrong, me and hubby have really been getting along these days. Some days I love him with all my heart the kind of love that I wouldn't have minded cutting show once in a while if I was with someone else. And somedays he just cannot stop getting on my nerves. Today, he is my one true love and didn't sound so happy when I said it out loud that I just wanted to go home for a week.

I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. My cherub sleeps in three hour stretches on a good day. In between hubbys snores which are getting louder and louder by the day; and the little angel constantly waking up, i get about 6.5 h of interrupted sleep every night. At least if i go home, I could give him to my mom for the night; she raised five kids she must surely be used to it by now. and its all her fault anyway. I don't want to be a wife today. I know I am blessed but I just want to go home and be one of the kids again, just for a week. I am sooo tired; I can't do anything. To please me (or maybe he just got tired of me kicking and shoving him to get him to stop snoring, lol) hubby started sleeping in the other room and I feel abandoned. I am so homesick, I'll deal with that later.

You might wonder why I blame my mother. Well, I love my mother but, I blame her for most things anyways. She was the one harassing me to get married ever since I carried my two left legs home from service with no husband and no job. I was naive then, and just happy to be home. I was only twenty three and she made me feel like a failure for not having a husband. When Baba joined in three years later. . . I knew it was time. So I stubbornly refused to cry on my wedding day; that would have been so pretentious and pretentiousness is just not in my nature. Not to mention her nagging me all the time, there was always something I wasn't doing right.

After all that why do I so much want to go home and be one of the kids again?. . . just for a week?

Maybe my job is also contributing to my stress. Customer service in America is something else. Having been a victim time and time again in Nigeria where you complain and the person supposed to sort out the mess for you will insult you, and walk you out like it isn't your service that made it possible for them to have jobs; here the customer is always right. You have the lousy people who will call in swearing by their dead relatives that they never made certain calls or used certain services, and to keep my job I have to kiss ass and try to tell them politely that it was our fault. Or the stupid ones who want you to send them a new phone because the old one does not vibrate anymore.

And I am just as fat as I've been since the beginning of the year. my fat jeans are getting tight sef. And people think I'm almost due with another baby.

Please let me go home for a week before I lose my mind!

Foolish Old Men and Other Stories.

Ramblings. . .
I confess that I have kept none of my weight loss resolutions though I am making a lot of effort. Its hard to exercise when you have no spare time and PLEASE don't tell m to create time, if that was humanly possible, we would surely have more than 24 hours a day. The diet is going so so. Its harder to quit certain foods when you make the declaration to do so. Hardest of all my bad eating habits to quit is midnight dinner when I get home. But I am proud to announce that I have broken that habit for the past seven days.


Foolish Old Men
Last Sunday a curious thing happened, I got a text from an old fifty something man who should be settled in his 5 year old marriage. . .the text was sent in error, mind you. . .something corny about longing for someones memorable touch or juicy lips or something of sorts. . .silly really. The text was meant for his plaything and being the techie klutz that he is -not unusual for a guy of his age - he must have accidentally hit the reply all button sending the secret message to me, my husband, his wife, his family and friends. Hubby gave him a call and alerted him to his error and the guy had to repeatedly send everyone messages saying the text wasn't from his phone. Uh huh, we all got the text from some ghost who ran out of ideas on how to freak people out, loud hiss. For good measure, he sent the disclaimer text twice so we'd all see that his phone has a mind of its own. . . even louder hiss. Wish I could tell him that the cover up text sounded even more foolish than the cheesy love message.

Witnessed something while standing in line at the old Standard Trust Bank almost ten years ago. You know how the bank used to be like a crowded market place, and on that day, standing in front of me was this young cute girl doing this kinda jiggly dance to the AIT theme song. Behind me was this elderly gentleman somewhere in his mid fifties or sixties. As the girl jiggled her hips and butt, the man grunts over me at the girl in this thick Ibo accent "see the way you are dancing like a little baby"

When the girl acknowledged his comment with a "shy" glance, the guy proceeds to shove me aside -and i kid you not- so he could ogle the "little baby" . I stood my ground cos I had been standing in line for over an hour and was not giving my space to anyone. Next thing the man has the guts to say in a loud voice that I was interrupting his conversation and I should move aside. Thank God for my big eyes, I turned around an eyed the man from head to toe and probably because I didn't say anything he decided it wasn't worth the scene, he left me alone and continued panting like bingo after the "little baby" with more discretion. Tell me the likelihood of someone knowing his wife and or kids being present that day. I mean is it a crime to pursue women with maturity?

Give an inch. . .
This situation kinda sorted itself out (thank God). Had this stranded colleague @ work one day. . .no car and she fell out with her roomie who used to give her rides home because they live together. I don't think they were lovers though because the bigger gal used to be married and the smaller one was obviously going through a dry spell some weeks back when she was paying too much attention to guys in the office. I mean she was laughing hard and long at their jokes even when the said jokes were not funny, she kept talking about how homely she is and how she just loves to cook and bake for fun, etc oh, and how she hadn't had sex since the birth of her son five years ago. Anyway, apparently she got laid recently and has been respecting herself.

Lest I forget where this is going, I gave her a ride home because she needed one, next thing my sister began waiting for me daily. I wouldn't have minded if we were going the same way. She lives about 10 minutes in the other direction and then after i dropped her off, I'd have to drive 25minutes back at home and at that time of the night, I wasn't finding it funny after the first few days. But thank God sha, it seems like the person doing her has been taking her home. My issue was resolved, we have been spared her throwing herself at guys in the office, and baby girl seems happy. All's well that ends well.

Hope everyone's having a good month.

Dry skin solutions, anyone?

Okay so in trying to pimp my blog, I messed it up. Bear with me while I look for a solution.

I have to keep reminding myself that its a new year because I had to work the day before and the day after and been working ever since, I miss those 1-3 week breaks I've gotten in past years.

I am working on my exercise and diet. I am yet to lose any weight though. Its annoying cos if I was on a binge now, I would see the weight gain in minutes.

Bobo is changing so rapidly before my very eyes. He used to be this wobbly necked infant and it was relatively easy giving him a bath. Now its a struggle. He is constantly trying to stuff as much soap into his mouth, holds the sponge tightly any chance he gets; and tries to "catch" the water and when he cant catch the water, he holds the container. I end up struggling to hold him still with one hand and soap or rinse him with the other. Speaking of which, if anyone has a solution for dry skin, please share. My baby has skin as dry as a crocodile's. I've bathed him with dove sensitive fragrance free since he was 2 months. That helped a lot. I have no luck with body lotions/creams and petroleum jelly is just too heavy, right now I mix with it water, and cream him morning when I give him a bath and last thing at night before i go to bed. I have also tried eucerin, curel, johnsons baby, aveno baby, palmers cocoa butter, palmers shea butter, baby magic, various baby gels and oils, I have also done the extra virgin olive oil and they either did nothing for him or made him break out in rashes. I need something mild, and I am open to suggestions.