I think I'm pregnant

Yep, I and I ain't telling a soul until after the wedding. I have actually spent a lot of time worrying and weighing my options, planning my life etc.

Let me confess, I've been freaking out over the whole issue until this morning. I mean, I don't have a good job, the wedding is still about two months away, I may not be able to start a career until early 2009, I am not ready to be pregnant talk-less of being a mother, and on and on and on.

To be frank, I am not even sure yet. It could be that I'm just late. I will take a test on Saturday though and clear that part up. Then if I'm not, it will turn out that I've been worrying over nothing. If I am, then my EDD will be at the end of April, almost six months after the wedding.

I am not against being pregnant before the wedding because, really in a relationship, its all about whatever works for you. And I have realised that after the wedding day, your issues will be money, in-laws, in-laws and in-laws and not about how you agreed to have sex before marriage.

But please young girls reading this, keep your cherry for as long as you can. Sex does not equal love and learn to use it as a reward for being treated nicely. And please note that he has to do ten nice things before you do two (if you know what I mean) There. I've done my piece for the youth.

I don't need any unnecessary attention so, I wont tell hubby-to-be even, until maybe a month after the wedding. Then the career thing. I really don't know how I want to juggle that. No one will give me a job and let me go on leave after six months. Baby has to be at least six months to go to a creche and thats about November 2008, the end of the year when most businesses will be rounding up for the year. that leaves me here until 2009. thats a long time.

Actually, I don't feel pregnant. I have been sleeping a lot but that could be as a result of stress. I am not putting on weight, though I usually do just before my monthly (strange huh?) I really don't know. Its all his fault. All through this month he has been staring at people's babies and playing with them. I am superstitious about a lot of things. I dont trust myself to take the test on my own and i don't want go to my clinic, not yet anyway until I'm sure so I'll just go to a lab. On the bright side, I may begin to throw up any moment from now. And I would lose a lot of weight. Will try to stay calm.